A desperate, creepy column from an otherwise likeable and harmless sports writer arrives today with it's own bizarre catch phrase: "I am Tiger Woods." But a month ago, Mike Wise may have telegraphed that some sort of confessional like this might be on the way.
So, first, the column.
The reason I have yet to write about the biggest sports story of the year in these pages is because Woods's plea to one of his many mistresses brought up old, awful feelings of shame, guilt and humiliation.
I won't revisit my own crash site in any detail here, but I can say the painful first step of the journey -- of seeing myself for who I really was -- also began in the worst imaginable way
No, really, REVISIT away! Don't turn back now, man!
I am Tiger Woods, and saying the greatest golfer on the planet got married too young is a cheap cop-out that misses an essential point: that this is really about a man who has everything and nothing at the same time, a guy medicating with women to fill emotional gaps -- the way some people use food, alcohol, drugs, work and golf on television
Then later, in case we missed it:
I am Tiger Woods, and I understand why the scent of a woman is unbeaten in 2009 and beyond. It is an equal-opportunity addiction, costing manicured, polished stars such as Pitino their coiffed reputations and unknown, dumpy software salesmen their families and jobs.
Where to begin? Perhaps one place would be the Nov. 17 post by Post colleague Dan Steinberg, at Steinberg's D.C. Sports Bog. In that post, Steinberg updates an ongoing-feud between Wise and former Postie and current ESPN funnyman Tony Kornheiser.
Steinberg had been following this idiotic brawl for awhile. [Here is his previous post on this.]
Steinberg quotes Wise on Wise's radio show refuting some cranky rant from Kornheiser, offered on his radio show. After yacking about this for several hours, Wise starts to wander. To ... someplace:
"How dare Tony Kornheiser criticize something I wrote about a team, when he spends a recent Sunday sitting in the owner's box, sitting elbow to elbow with a guy who is more unpopular in this town than anybody in the history of this town, and that probably includes George Bush.
"Nobody ended his career at The Washington Post. What happened to Tony Kornheiser at The Washington Post is what happened to the short-term memory guy at the end of the Memento movie. He realizes the dead body next to him was his fault. Tony killed his newspaper career. He wanted to be on Monday Night Football--and who wouldn't?--he wanted to do a radio show, which he felt he was best at, and he stopped wanting to be a yodeler.
"At some point--as I've had to do in my life, as other people have had to--when 20 people tell you that there's a problem with you, you look at yourself one day and you realize what's the one common denominator in those relationships with 20 people: Me. You take a look at yourself. So tearing down the good people at a place I'm still very proud to work is just beneath him, and I don't like that at all.
"I've done some stupid things in my career, including forgetting to take some medication once when I was at the 2006 Winter Olympics during a very dark time in my life. I've written some absolute clunkers, columns and stories I'm not especially proud of. But I haven't been consistently, outright nasty and ugly....
"I'm just gonna say, when you make personal attacks on the radio, you need to know that at some point the person you're talking about, it's getting back to him. And they have a right to feel badly about it and angry about it. And I think he needs to understand, if Tony Kornheiser understands nothing else ... Johnny Carson when he left had the best quote of all time, and it's what Tony needs today. He really needs to hear this. Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll see the same people on your way back down."
"A very dark time in my life." So perhaps these maudlin references last month make some sense now. But are we getting the whole story here? Will Wise venture into the darkness in future columns? Among the questions: Was this guy's life at one point really a train wreck, like, ok, David Carr's? Or a faux train wreck, like David Denby's? Tales of both resulted in moderately successful books. So, Mike, get to work.
We believe in being "nice" to people too. One way to be nice to people is not to insult them. Wise's column does that, all the way through. As does his radio show, on days when he turns it into Dr. Phil.
There will be lots more on Wise from the blogosphere and the media world in the days ahead. Doubtless.
Updates: More from Washington City Paper's Dave McKenna on Wise's weirdness, as well as on Kornheiser's weirdness; then Wise lobbies McKenna directly.
Update, Dec. 30, 2009: Politico media reporter Michael Calderone links to NoVa Media Watch.